Even after turning into a shrieking puddle of ancient blood and nearly pulling Jessica's heart out of her chest, Bill's first instinct in the bedroom is to tuck her in and say nighty night. For starters, responsible male vampires do not have sex with their daughters. But there do seem to be rules, or at least guidelines. There's no biological reason against it, what with their wombs being as vestigial as our appendixes. All of which begs the question: in this world of incest-happy TV, are hyper-sexual vampires cool with diddling their relations? You'd think that, given their callous disregard for human morality, these toothy beasts would feel no compunction about forming the beast with two backs with their vamp children, parents, and siblings. Bill and Jessica play out like single dad and rebellious teenager, with draining humans subbed in for draining Boone's Farm on the list of infractions that merit an awkward lecture. Pam's devotion to Eric is absolute, even though, like many fathers of daughters, he'd rather self-immolate than listen to her girl problems. Eric Northman believes Godric is God his maker exercises more influence over him than the actual vampire goddess, Lilith, despite Lilith being older, taller, and far more naked. But if there are two things, it's that vampires take the bonds of blood very seriously. If there's one thing we've learned after 5+ seasons of True Blood, it's that men's buttocks are the new side-boob.
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